21. Honor Your Season
I'm about to delve into some deep and vulnerable territory here. Lately, I've been grappling with a sense of struggle. It's a phase—a season, I tell myself—but in the midst of it, I feel like I'm trapped in a cycle, much like a hamster endlessly spinning on its wheel. While the solution may seem glaringly obvious to an outsider, for me, it remains elusive.
In 2022, I welcomed my fifth child into the world. Before his arrival, I was cruising along in a well-established routine—a reliable rhythm that kept me grounded. Each morning, like clockwork, I'd rise around 5 am to immerse myself in personal growth. Whether it was diving into a chapter of a book, finding solace in scripture, or pouring my thoughts into a journal, my mornings were sacred. I'd meticulously plan out my day, review my goals for the month, and occasionally squeeze in a rigorous workout, be it an hour of yoga, a session of high-intensity interval training, or even a six-mile run on the mornings my husband was home.
My evening ritual was a sanctuary, a tranquil prelude to a restful night's sleep that would set the stage for the dawn of a new day. After tucking all the kiddos into bed, I'd immerse myself in the soothing strains of calming or worship music, enveloped in the gentle glow of ambient lighting as I indulged in a leisurely, steamy shower with the main lights turned off.
Following my shower, I'd lavish my skin with my favorite essential oils and luxuriate in the soothing embrace of magnesium lotion, while filling the air with the comforting scent of my preferred oils in the diffuser. Then came the quiet moments of reading, prayer journaling, and reflection on a daily devotion, each step a cherished part of my nighttime routine.
Our homeschooling regimen mirrored the same sense of structure and solidity. Even amidst the ebb and flow of life, my work routine remained steadfast. As the kids stirred from their slumber each morning, we'd gather for breakfast before diving into our academic pursuits. Once the lessons were completed, I'd carve out time for my own work while the children enjoyed some free time, before reconvening for an afternoon filled with shared activities guided by our collective interests and inspirations.
I found myself thriving—attending Zoom calls, immersing myself in books, and dedicating hours to study. It was a season of growth, both metaphorically and quite literally, as I nurtured our fifth child within. Yet, beneath the surface, a sense of apprehension lingered, knowing that the imminent birth would inevitably disrupt the beautiful routine we had cultivated.
And disrupt it did. Now, I'm grappling with the stark contrast from before. Journaling feels like a Herculean task, and reading my Bible daily has become a struggle outside of the convenience of the app on my phone. The simple act of finishing a book feels like an elusive feat—I've managed to complete just 1.5 books in the past six months. Zoom calls for training are missed, and my participation in crucial groups has waned. Keeping pace with the ever-changing demands of life feels like an uphill battle.
Attempting to go live in a Facebook group has been thwarted time and again by the demands of the baby, each interruption a poignant reminder of the new season I find myself in.
On some days, I navigate the constant interruptions with grace and patience. But on others, frustration creeps in, and I find myself longing for a different reality. Yet, amidst the ups and downs, I hold onto the assurance that this is just a season—a transient phase that will eventually give way to something new.
No matter how often I remind myself, there are days when I still find myself ensnared in the trap of comparison.
It's a truth we hear time and again: comparison is the thief of joy.
As I pour my heart into nurturing my five children, homeschooling them, and carving out time to build my business in the tiny pockets of my day, I can't help but notice others seemingly thriving in every aspect of their lives. Their businesses soar, they effortlessly juggle countless training calls, and they seem to effortlessly keep pace with life's ever-shifting demands.
It's a curious paradox, isn't it? We extend grace so freely to those around us, yet struggle to offer the same compassion to ourselves. Somehow, we hold ourselves to impossible standards, expecting perfection even as we recognize the imperfections in others. Perhaps it's time we learn to turn that same kindness inward, granting ourselves the grace and understanding we so readily offer to others. After all, we too are deserving of compassion and forgiveness as we navigate the complexities of life.
I found myself tasked with the challenge of going live to discuss the importance of honoring our current season in life. As I spoke, I felt as though the words flowing from my lips were not entirely my own; it was as if God was speaking through me, guiding my words with His wisdom and grace.
In this season of uncertainty and unpredictability, I often feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants. My primary focus is right here at home, where God has placed me. Despite the overwhelming nature of the tasks ahead, I find solace in the constant reminder that I am exactly where God needs me to be.
God has been unveiling snippets of His plans for my future, each revelation filled with excitement and possibility. Yet, amidst the thrill of these glimpses, I sometimes find myself paralyzed by self-doubt. I question my abilities, wondering if I'm truly equipped for the journey ahead. The urgency to act and the fear of inadequacy threaten to overwhelm me.
Yet, in His gentle way, God reassures me that not everything needs to happen now. Some things are meant to unfold in His perfect timing, and I am called to trust in His plan, even when it means embracing patience and surrendering my need for control.
At times, we become ensnared in the trap of comparison, fixating on the accomplishments of others or feeling the pressure to do more ourselves. We convince ourselves that unless we have everything right now, we'll never attain it at all.
Lately, I've been grappling with a profound sense of stagnation. Emotionally, creatively, mentally, physically—I've felt blocked at every turn. On the rare occasion I do have a good day, it's often followed by a string of challenging ones, leaving me feeling as though I'm being punished for experiencing even a brief respite from the struggle. This season has been marked by a notable decrease in productivity across all facets of my life, a reality that has forced me to confront some deeply rooted traumas.
Amidst the struggle, I've come to accept the necessity of slowing down. I've had to learn to say "No," prioritizing self-care and rest over the relentless pursuit of productivity. Virtual trainings have replaced in-person gatherings, and while the shift has brought its own set of challenges, it has also provided an opportunity to adapt and grow in unexpected ways.
It's becoming increasingly evident that nothing is unfolding according to my carefully crafted timeline. And perhaps, therein lies the crux of the matter. True breakthrough emerges from the flexibility to adapt, from the serenity found in quiet moments, from the courage to do less rather than more.
Honoring our current season requires a willingness to accept its unique rhythm and purpose. Some seasons are designated for growth, while others beckon us to rest and replenish our spirits. Still, there are those that signify a time for reaping the rewards of our efforts. Yet, in the midst of life's trials, it can be challenging to discern the lesson amidst the flames of adversity.
In these moments, it's essential to remember the virtues that guide us through the storm: hard work, diligence, skill, persistence, competence, and leadership. These qualities serve as beacons of strength, guiding us through the darkness and illuminating the path to our eventual breakthrough.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
"...beautiful in its time."
A more nuanced interpretation of the word often translated as "beautiful" reveals its deeper meaning as "appropriate." Each event unfolds precisely when it should, meticulously orchestrated according to God's divine plan. While this may not always offer immediate clarity on the reasons behind each occurrence, it does invite us to place our trust in Him and discover our ultimate purpose within His design.
"…yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
Even as we acknowledge God's sovereignty and trust in the timing of His divine orchestration, there remains a veil shrouding His ultimate plan from our understanding. While we strive to grasp the intricacies of His work and discern the reasons behind His actions, we are often met with the realization that His ways are beyond our comprehension.
Despite this mystery, we find solace in the knowledge that God's intentions are guided by His eternal wisdom and boundless love. Though we may not always perceive His hand at work or comprehend the intricacies of His plan, we rest in the assurance that He orchestrates all things for His glory and our ultimate good (Isaiah 48:9; Romans 8:28).
Let's embrace this season, my friends. Let's release ourselves from the weight of others' expectations and opinions. Instead, let's delve deep into the richness of this present moment and allow its lessons to unfurl organically, exactly as they're meant to.
Stay Wild & Free,
-Brandy
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