5. Earthside: Bennett’s Story
This story will probably be fairly brief… and not because I don’t value the entirety of his story… but because there are a lot of pieces to this story that just aren’t mine to share.
In 2016, I was privileged to learn about my sister's pregnancy. Despite her youth and the freshness of her relationship, every baby is a cherished blessing from God. As a birth worker, accustomed to walking alongside other women during the transformative journey of welcoming a new life, I naturally felt a surge of excitement. My joy intensified when my sister approached me with the idea of hiring me as her doula.
The journey unfolded with attending several prenatal visits, providing educational literature, orchestrating a beautiful baby shower for friends and family, and offering guidance through countless text messages and phone calls as questions arose. My unwavering support extended to being there for her throughout the entire induction process, necessitated by high blood pressure.
On the evening of August 28, 2017, the induction process commenced. I arrived at the hospital around 9:30 pm, dedicated to creating a serene and darkened space for her in preparation for the journey ahead.
Throughout the night, she navigated the labor process beautifully, utilizing birth balls, aromatherapy, continuous movement, massage, and periods of rest, considering the late-night hours. The nursing staff played a pivotal role, respecting her meticulously crafted birth plan, with copies displayed in her room and a sign on the door reminding everyone to maintain a calm, dark, and positive environment.
As the night unfolded, we embraced moments of rest, engaged in the labor process, and maintained a tranquil atmosphere. As dawn approached, the intensity of her labor heightened. Despite our continued efforts with various comfort measures, her rising blood pressure led to the decision to opt for an epidural, aiming to avoid magnesium. By 1 in the afternoon, she found respite after receiving the epidural.
The decision proved effective! Transition unfolded rapidly, and the baby made his entrance into the world at 3:22 pm.
After spending a few crucial hours in her immediate postpartum, offering assistance with breastfeeding, I eventually returned home to attend to my own family and prioritize some essential post-birth self-care.
During that time, I had the privilege of taking the placenta home to create placenta prints, fashion an umbilical cord keepsake, and encapsulate her placenta. While I have since discontinued offering these services based on personal discernment and convictions, I hold in high regard the peaceful atmosphere that characterized that season of life when I did provide such services.
If you're interested in delving further into the benefits of placenta encapsulation or have been contemplating its advantages, you can explore the topic further in an article available HERE.
Additionally, I still find joy in crafting placenta prints for mothers to frame as sentimental keepsakes in their homes.
On September 1, 2017, I conducted our initial postpartum home visit to assess breastfeeding progress, provide support tailored to her needs, and share valuable postpartum resources.
Our time together was filled with the delightful embrace of newborn cuddles, a request that resonated with my sister's desire for a comforting visit.
As I left her home, we made arrangements for another postpartum visit around Benni's six-week mark.
In alignment with my doula services, which include unlimited text and phone support, we continued our communication through text messages.
For my firstborn's seventh birthday celebration, my mom, both sisters, and my nephew gathered for the party. It was a joyful reunion with my nephew, offering an opportunity to sit down with my sister and delve into the intricacies of her experiences—face-to-face conversations naturally delving deeper than text or phone exchanges.
Benni, at times, displayed fussiness when moved around, finding solace when cradled snugly. Taking advantage of my sister's offer, I gladly embraced the chance to wear Benni in my ring sling.
Fast forward to October 17, 2017, when Benni was just 7 weeks old.
In the midst of baking dog treats for our puppy, Rambo, I received a phone call etched into my memory. Benni had been admitted to the hospital, undergoing a battery of tests to uncover the cause of his severe illness and frequent seizures, occurring 3-6 times per hour.
The medical examinations, including ultrasounds, MRI scans, x-rays, physical assessments, blood tests, and more, all seemed to point strongly toward a disturbing conclusion: child abuse.
Benni's fragile state revealed broken bones, brain bleeds, multiple spinal cord injuries, and the distressing frequency of seizures. Over the next 10 days, he endured numerous tests, blood draws, anti-seizure medications to quell the relentless seizures, and sedations to facilitate much-needed rest and healing.
In light of the ongoing investigation, I proactively reached out to case workers, expressing my willingness to be listed as a potential foster parent should that avenue become a necessary consideration.
To safeguard the privacy of the details, I'll keep it succinct. A foster care worker conducted interviews and a home inspection at our residence, initiating the process in case the investigation identified negligence leading to Benni's injuries.
After spending 10 days in the hospital, #Superman was ready to return home! I received the call to head to the hospital for a 24-hour period with him, serving both to understand his medication requirements and, as part of the screening process, to demonstrate that I would be a suitable fit as his foster mom.
Our 24 hours together passed swiftly. Arriving at the hospital around 8:30 pm, I found little #Superman peacefully snoozing in his bouncer chair. The nurses briefed me on his day, including the last time he was changed, bathed, fed, and received his medications.
After the updates, the nurses gave me space to care for him, visiting the room infrequently. We spent the night in close embrace. While I didn't get much sleep, the brief moments of rest were in a reclining chair, as there was no bed in the room. Morning arrived swiftly, accompanied by visits from various members of Benni's care team.
I contacted our WIC office to enroll him, ensuring a stock of Nutramigen formula, which he needed. The hospital nurses generously provided me with multiple bags of baby supplies, from bottles to diapers, wipes, formula, and other essentials they deemed helpful.
After settling into our new life as a family of 6 plus our dog, I began organizing follow-up appointments and setting up physical therapy sessions.
Throughout 2018, a significant portion of our time was devoted to physical therapy, attending follow-up appointments, undergoing CT scans with neurology and our family doctor, making adjustments to taper off Benni's anti-seizure medications, meeting with our foster care worker and CASA worker, and welcoming result visits from Early-On.
Remarkably, Benni not only recovered swiftly but also exceeded milestones! He graduated from physical therapy a year earlier than anticipated, gaining approval from his entire care team before reaching his first birthday.
Every three months, we convened in court for review hearings as part of the reunification efforts. However, with over a year passing without progress or milestones being met, the judge proceeded with the adoption process.
Our journey through foster care was marked by its unique challenges. The frequent turnover of licensing workers surprised us, as each individual approached our licensing process differently, leading to prolonged delays. Surprisingly, our foster care license was not issued until after our adoption had already been finalized, and we had already communicated our preference to avoid placement calls during this period. The foster care system proved to be exhausting, and our family was eager to progress beyond this stage.
In contrast, the adoption process was more straightforward, thanks to the assistance of an excellent adoption worker. From its initiation, it took approximately 6 months to complete the adoption process, culminating in the judge signing Benni's adoption papers on August 1, 2019.
After Benni's adoption was officially finalized, we joyously commemorated not only his second birthday but also his dedication to our Lord and Savior.
This journey introduced us to a multitude of remarkable individuals, and from these connections, we forged enduring friendships that continue to enrich our lives.
Stay Wild & Free,
-Brandy
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