6. Earthside: Badrick’s Story
Oh, time, the elusive force that slips through our fingers no matter how tightly we grasp. It feels like just yesterday I was caught in that mesmerizing space between anticipation and arrival, eagerly awaiting the day our little mystery would make their grand entrance into the world. Team Green vibes all the way, the excitement building with each passing day!
Can you believe it's been an entire two years since that awe-inspiring, redemptive birth? Well, buckle up, because I'm thrilled to take you on a journey down memory lane right here on the blog! Get ready for a tale of anticipation, surprises, and the sheer wonder of welcoming a precious soul into our lives. Stay tuned, dear readers, as we revisit the beautiful chapters of that unforgettable day.
If you're a fan of captivating birth videos, you're in for a treat! Check out Badrick's incredible birth video skillfully crafted by Kristen Gruell Photography. Connect with Kristen on Facebook. While I've cherished making my own birth videos from past pregnancies, this time, I sought something special—something that would vividly transport me back to the wondrous moments of bringing my baby into the world. Kristen's work surpassed expectations! Sit back, relax, and relish in the beauty of this journey to welcome new life. Enjoy!
One of the most cherished aspects of Badrick's pregnancy and birth journey was the profound spiritual growth it ignited. Embracing my faith and maintaining a consistent prayer practice throughout pregnancy became a source of strength, warding off the enemy's lies and fear tactics. I delved into comprehensive education, exploring not only the intricacies of his birth but also preparing for our postpartum period. This intentional approach to both the birth process and the subsequent phase contributed significantly to the depth of our transformative experience.
Badrick's pregnancy added an extra layer of excitement as my best friend, Grace, was also expecting her second baby boy, and we were both due just a week apart! As fate would have it, our boys ended up being born 13 days apart. The shared journey of pregnancy and the close timing of our sons' arrivals created a special bond between us.
Anyway, it's time to delve into our little guy's birth story! Here we go!
While I had my heart set on making it to 40 weeks and having a baby on 2/2/22, little did I know that God, our baby, and my body had the most perfect birth day in mind for our precious little one!
It was around 11:30 am on Tuesday, January 25, 2022, when I decided to take a bath. Embracing these last days of pregnancy, I aimed to soak in as much warmth as possible, centering myself and relishing those quiet moments with the baby. After getting through the kids' school work, I let them enjoy some free time on their iPads. Lighting a candle in the bathroom, filling the essential oil diffuser, and adding Epsom salts to the bath, I settled in for a relaxing soak. With worship music playing, I also attended to some work on my phone.
Around noon, I felt a Braxton Hicks contraction, but this time, it came with period-like cramping. Trying not to overthink it, I continued to unwind. The baby was active, and I captured some pictures of my belly, savoring the tranquility. About 20 minutes later, another Braxton Hicks contraction with period-like cramping occurred, followed by another 20 minutes later. I whispered a little prayer, hoping it wasn't time yet. I wasn't spiritually prepared to welcome the baby—I yearned for just one more week of pregnancy and another week to relish our routine as a family of 6.
I glanced at the clock, and it was just past 1 pm. An hour elapsed, and there were no further sensations. I fervently hoped it was merely a hint of my body gearing up for D-Day but prayed that D-Day itself would hold off for another week. Wanting to share a 39-week update, I quickly texted our photographer and moved forward with my day.
By 2 pm, I decided to exit the bath, gearing up for a Mother Blessing Zoom with the Sister Birth ladies of Embrace Birth Journey. I had eagerly anticipated this call, as these women and the Embrace Birth Journey course had become a transformative experience guided by God. Finding solace in the openness, honesty, rawness, and vulnerability within this group, I knew I had some emotions that needed releasing. Yet, I harbored a slight fear that letting go of these emotions on the call, and receiving divine feedback from the ladies, might actually trigger labor. So, I approached the experience with a hint of reservation.
During the call, a few robust Braxton Hicks contractions emerged, though I refrained from timing them. As anticipated, the ladies offered incredible insights into my fears and sadness about nearing the end of pregnancy. After the call, I felt liberated and unburdened.
<<Mother Blessing Notes>>
Here are some notes on the responses and prayers from today! I hope the rest of this day is restful and sweet for you, dear one.
Is your faith big enough to encompass your “mistake” in “mishearing” or “misunderstanding” God’s messages to you? - may the fear of the possibility of “missing” it shrink down to size and lose its foothold, that it would not be a stumbling block or hindrance.
Prayers for grace for your transition in practical areas (change to routines, etc.) as well as inner transformation.
Blessing over the woman you are now and the way that impacts your experience of this particular pregnancy and birth. The birth you are given will be what the Current You needs.
May the Father give you new rhythms of grace and rituals of intentionality in how you move through the world.
Angel - everything God was trying to tell you through this birth you WILL see. The Lord is birthing something so magnificent with these children being born today.
“I will be with you and protect you wherever you go.” You will be in a safe environment. He will manifest in ways you couldn’t dream possible.
Jessica - You have a servant’s heart in how you imagine your birth helping to lead people to Jesus and want that so deeply. Such a testament to the woman and mother that you are.
There are big things in the works for this birth and it makes sense you’re not quite ready yet. We want things to be just right, and I have a feeling that they will be. Baby will come at just the right time and it will be really special for a lot of reasons.
Marissa prays- “Holy Spirit, fill her mind with the thoughts you’d want her to have. You’re a good God and you have a brilliant plan for her and her baby and family. I feel you want to share with her that this WILL be transformative for her husband. Give her confidence and the ability to surrender the control to you. … Brandy knows how to come to you and pour it out to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
I wouldn’t have guessed listening to you that you feel unprepared in any way. Maybe there’s something in there trying to tell you to let go of something in the past….that you want to step over into this next birth… it’s going to be very healing when you do that.
Brooke - You ARE ready, ultimately.
Angel - find joy in the waiting. Trust that all the things you have done will have a ripple effect, you’ll see them play out to your benefit.
Loretta - Detachment.
You came into this community like a “blazing fire” - really special.
Whatever the birth path is for you, it will go beautifully.
After the Mother Blessing call, our day unfolded, transitioning from the kids' iPad time to addressing some challenging attitudes. Experiencing stress and disbelief, I momentarily released frustration on the kids. Following reconnection, apologies, and hugs, we proceeded to tidy up the house, prepare dinner, and prepare for gymnastics. Throughout the day, waves of sensations continued, each unique in intensity and nature—some painless tightening, some accompanied by lower back pain or uterine cramping.
Around 6:30 pm, we headed to gymnastics. By 7 pm, the waves were coming more regularly, prompting me to start timing them. Ranging from 7 to 12 minutes apart with varying intensities, I sensed that this might be it—the onset of labor, reminiscent of Bailey and Barrett's early labor. Notifying our birth team, I listened to worship music, prayed, and surrendered to God's will for this birth.
By 8:30 pm, back home, I tucked the kids in, gave kisses, and engaged in our usual bedtime routine with Norman. Still hesitant to disclose my feelings, I hoped a good night's rest might slow things down and keep me pregnant for another week.
Around 9 pm, I informed Norman that I was ready for a shower and sleep, intending to talk to him in the morning. However, an inner sense urged me to set up everything. I filled diffusers, arranged the bed and shower curtain, and began inflating the birth tub. In the shower, emotions overwhelmed me as I cried, prayed, and sought acceptance and surrender. While waves persisted, I refrained from checking dilation to avoid irritating the cervix, focusing instead on the thinning effacement.
After a conversation with a friend around 9:20 pm, she decided to head down to the house regardless of what might happen.
By 10 pm, the waves showed no sign of stopping. I experienced significant rectal pressure, passing gas, and cervical pressure as if someone were stretching me. Although I felt more damp, there was no indication of a bloody show or mucus plug. Ensuring my home atmosphere was ready, I filled diffusers, prepared Labroaide, and brewed Ripe & Ready Tea. Barrett, sensing something different, came downstairs, and after tucking him into bed, I returned to my room. Experiencing loose stools and increased rectal pressure, a wave of sadness swept over me—this was likely the real deal, mirroring Bailey and Barrett's early labor. Emotionally unprepared to conclude this pregnancy, I recognized that this would be the last time I felt this baby move within me. I decided to lay down and attempt to sleep between waves, a last-ditch effort to slow down or stall labor and remain pregnant.
I finally informed Norman about what was happening. Since early labor had played out the same way as before, there was a significant chance it wouldn't fizzle out. As my friend was already en route, I anticipated Norman's questions when the cameras alerted him to someone at the house. We exchanged texts for a while as he was still at work.
Around 11:50 pm, I woke up. Despite my attempts to sleep between waves, they continued to wake me up. The pressure with each wave indicated progress. Baby was incredibly active, prompting me to move instinctually with each wave in search of relief. I received a text from my friend, notifying me that she was off the highway and almost there.
Once she arrived just after midnight, I assisted her in setting up her room. Originally, I had planned to prepare the spare bedroom, the birth tub, and our bed on Wednesday evening after our house cleaner finished her work, and Norman left for work. However, baby had other plans! She and I engaged in conversation until around 1:15 am while I ate and drank some Laboraide. The waves persisted, and I found myself swaying my hips against the counter, unable to resist the urge to squat during certain waves. I responded instinctually to my body's cues, moving through each wave without questioning it, allowing my body to guide me. The pressure and cramping intensified with each wave, accompanied by more loose stools. Although I didn't time the waves, they persisted, regardless of my attempts to alleviate them. My hips ached, and everything felt like it was stretching. Now that Lindy was settled in, we decided to try and get some sleep.
Sleep remains an elusive feat as Baby continues to be incredibly active. I felt hiccups lower than ever before, distinctly on my left hip and directly on my cervix. Suddenly, it felt like Baby "slipped," descending further into my pelvis, accompanied by a powerful wave. Each time I doze off, I'm awakened by another wave. There's a symphony of grinding and stabbing pains, and my nether regions, especially the rectal area, feel tender with ongoing stretching sensations.
As the clock ticks to 3:20 am, I'm still intermittently awakened by waves. Stabbing pain persists in my cervical area, along with significant rectal pressure. Some waves require vocalization and focused breathing. I'm torn between the desire to immerse myself in a warm bath and the need for rest. Frustration sets in, but I made a vow not to fight my body. Surrendering is crucial, accepting that God, my body, and this baby know the perfect date and time for the birth. Listening to my body, I decide to enter the bath. A cervical check reveals a slight thinning, perhaps 1-2 cm dilation. Baby feels lower but not exceptionally so.
I immersed myself in worship and prayer, recognizing the need to surrender to avoid intensifying the experience. Norman called shortly after 4 am, and we conversed between waves. Resuming the timing, I observed they were occurring every 6 minutes, each demanding focused breathing and coping through the accompanying pressure and pain. Around 4:45 am, I peed in the bathtub—too fatigued to exit at this point. A familiar pop and gush followed, suggesting my water broke, signaling the imminent arrival of our baby. I shared the news with Norman, and then alerted the entire birth team.
My friend joined me upstairs, where panic set in as we considered the possibility of meconium in the amniotic fluid. Checking the baby's heart rate reassured us, maintaining the typical 130s range. Despite the panic, I sought my center, massaging Labor Massage Oil, and listening to Christian Hypnobirthing with air pods. She and I wrestled with the hose attachment for the birth tub while awaiting the arrival of the birth team. While not gushing, my water had indeed broken, and signs of dilation and further stretching emerged through the loss of mucus plug and bloody show. I found myself tethered to the toilet as my body underwent cleansing.
Emotions surged as the birth team, one by one, arrived. Lorraine, my sister-in-law, assisted my friend with the hose attachment. Midwives arrived just before 6 am, noting a slightly elevated blood pressure but a reassuring baby heart rate. Panicking, I cried while swaying on the birth ball, clinging to my air pods for solace. The intensity increased, and I labored where my instincts led—on the birth ball, toilet, and walking around the bedroom. Norman returned around 6:30 am, becoming a vital anchor. Standing at the foot of the bed, I sought connection, finding comfort in his embrace, releasing tears, and navigating each wave as he supported me.
The midwives suggested The Miles Circuit for some much-needed rest and to optimize the baby's position. Palpating the baby's exact position proved challenging, but The Miles Circuit provided intervals between waves for dozing. Some waves were potent enough to jolt me awake, requiring movement and vocalization. Alternating between Affirmations, Visualizations, Prayers, and Scripture on the Christian Hypnobirthing app, I found deep relaxation, peace, and entered a focused state. Baby's consistent heart rate in the 130s and 140s brought comfort.
Waves persisted in varying intensities, with moments of dozing off and occasional socialization. At one point, the midwives suggested breakfast, bringing me a veggie omelet and hashbrowns. Norman delivered it to me on the bed, improvising a bed tray with a cookie sheet. This simple act became a cherished memory. Between waves, I enjoyed my meal, laughter, and conversation. However, a noticeable shift occurred as transition set in. An emotional and intense wave hit, prompting me to push the food aside to make room for movement and vocalization. Transition was unmistakably present, marking a significant change in my physical, spiritual, and mental focus.
I declared to the birth team that I'd reached my limit; it was tub time. Exhausted, I made my way to the bathroom before strategically choosing the side of the tub for entry with support from the bed. Submerged in the warm water, my entire body surrendered to its soothing embrace. The waves intensified, and though I sensed baby descending, the pace felt agonizingly slow. Unbearable pressure in my hips fueled frustration, and I longed for it to be over. Vocalizing, expressing frustration, shedding tears – the intensity surpassed any memory. Jayde sat by my head on the floor as I kept my eyes closed, burying my head in the tub between waves, rolling my forehead against its surface. Responding instinctively, I moved my hips, stretched my legs, and adopted runner's lunge positions as my body signaled. Counter pressure became a lifeline as the downward force intensified.
At a certain juncture, I craved Norman's presence, needing his closeness and the reassurance of his hand in mine. The intensity had escalated to a point where escape seemed tempting. Some waves became so overpowering that breathing or vocalizing through them became nearly impossible, stealing my breath away. This surpassed the level of intensity I had mentally prepared for. In an attempt to alleviate the hip pain during contractions, Jayde attempted a hip squeeze. However, it triggered an unbearable sensation, making me feel as though I might explode. Breathing became labored, and I found myself repeating "nope!" and "no, no, no" through the waves. The pain seemed to concentrate in my pelvis, and I contorted my body in various ways, almost feeling like a contortionist trying to navigate the intensity.
As the urge to push intensified, the birthing process accelerated swiftly. I could feel the pressure, and, cautiously, I inserted a couple of fingers to sense the descent of baby's head. The onset of Fetal Ejection brought forth small, controlled pushes, just enough to facilitate the stretching. Despite inquiries about the readiness of the kids, it wasn't time yet. Pushing provided less relief than I remembered from Barrett's birth; the stretching was intense. Approaching the crowning phase, I could feel baby's head in the birth canal, and, sensing the imminent arrival, I requested the kids to join as baby was drawing near. My body resisted a gradual descent; it seemed like baby was stretching me in an unfamiliar direction, with the ring of fire sensation more towards the front. As baby crowned, I attempted to discern the position, but the rapidity of the process made it challenging. The urgency to push with all my might was overwhelming, and despite efforts to slow down and allow gradual stretching, there was no respite between waves of Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER). In a conscious effort to prevent extensive tearing, I audibly instructed myself to cease pushing and slow down. This managed to control the descent, resulting in only a few minor skidmarks. Once the head emerged, I was asked to pause for a cord check, but my body was unyielding. I declared "head's out," and with the next contraction, baby's shoulders followed suit. With one hand on the head and the other reaching down, I guided the emergence, grasped the tiny form, and pulled baby to my chest.
Upon emerging from the water, the immediate sound of my baby's hearty cries filled the room! In that moment, as I adjusted my body against the tub to recline and bring my newborn to my chest, I finally opened my eyes. To my astonishment, I noticed a gentle loop of the umbilical cord delicately encircling his neck. My focus shifted from the cord to the tiny, screaming infant in my arms, and I couldn't help but marvel at the miraculous sight before me.
Amidst the overwhelming joy of cradling this precious, screaming bundle, I stole a glance upwards, momentarily diverting my attention from the tiny wonder on my chest. Through the haze of disbelief and the sweet murmurs of "you're so tiny!" escaping my lips, I had the privilege of witnessing all four of my older kids standing there in sheer awe. Their beaming smiles, heartfelt "awwwws," and tears of joy painted a picture of pure familial bliss.
The baby's cries echoed in the room, an unceasing symphony of life! Almost instantly, the newborn's skin took on a rosy hue, prompting an exclamation, "I give baby a 10 out of 10!" Eager to bring the baby closer to my chest, I instinctively scooped up the tiny bundle and, in that moment, stole a peek between the legs. To my astonishment, I discovered that our newest addition was a boy! A sharp contrast to my intuition, which had steadfastly whispered "girl" throughout the pregnancy. Breaking the news, I chuckled, "Wow! I was wrong! It's a boy!"
We lingered in the tub, captivated by this tiny miracle. A shot of Angelica Tincture brought on some extra cramping, prompting my attempts to encourage the placenta's departure. The lengthening cord signaled its imminent arrival, and with a final push, I successfully delivered the placenta unaided. Not only did I catch the baby independently, once again, but I also managed the placental delivery solo! Experiencing the extraordinary sensation of feeling the baby's head before the full crowning and realizing my capacity to navigate the intense waves for an unassisted birth was profoundly empowering. With normal bleeding, clear water, and a sense of well-being, I relished in the triumphant aftermath.
After cord-cutting rituals, we entrusted the baby to daddy's capable hands and commenced the delicate operation of transitioning from the tub to the toilet, finally settling into the bed. My reluctance to leave the tub stemmed from a wary acknowledgment of gravity's unkindness to a freshly postpartum body.
Once nestled in the bed, our focus shifted to the precious golden hour. Skin-to-skin contact, nursing attempts, and marveling at our new addition dominated this sacred time. In the background, the kids busily concocted a birthday cake and later serenaded Badrick with a spirited rendition of Happy Birthday. A placenta smoothie marked a unique post-birth tradition before we delved into the newborn exam.
The midwives, attentive to every detail, ensured a smooth cleanup post-exam. Concerns about potential latch issues faded as Badrick showcased his nursing prowess from the very first latch. With order restored, well-wishes exchanged, and everyone settling into their routines, Lindy and Lorraine graciously lingered to assist with the older four kiddos. Meanwhile, I focused on rest and acquainting myself with the charming little boy who promised a future filled with surprises and endless joy.
Badrick Stone
January 26, 2022 at 11:23am
6lbs 4oz & 19.5”
Stay Wild & Free,
-Brandy
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